1 month ago
26
While everyone's got a dating deal breaker (you'll see mine at the end, and it's a spicy one), some are a bit more polarizing than others. I was recently doing some digging, and I found a thread on Reddit, where u/Gusta8990 asked, "What is your most controversial dating deal breaker?" I went ahead and grabbed some of the best responses. I also tossed in a few replies to my recent dating deal breakers poll, which you can find here. Oh, and I've included my own commentary under each deal breaker in the form of "Harrison's spice-ometer," where I rate how controversial I think each opinion is (not how much I agree with it).
1. "I wouldn't date someone with a peanut allergy. I consume way too much peanut butter. I'd rather not send someone into anaphylactic shock, and quitting my peanut butter addiction is obviously out of the question."
2. "I won't date picky eaters who can't cook. Each of these things on their own doesn't bother me, but I absolutely refuse to cook unseasoned chicken tenders for a fully grown adult."
—u/gotaroundthebanana (suspended account)
3. "When it comes to dating deal breakers, I have a 'kid's party assessment.' Can you behave appropriately at a kid's birthday party? Do you control your language? Can you be at a party without drinking? Do you interact well with kids? Basically, if I wouldn't enjoy a kid's birthday party with you, or would be embarrassed by your behavior, I'm out."
4. "Someone who doesn't have an 'embarrassing' or 'niche' hobby. While I have many friends who don't, I want a partner who understands the passion that comes with being nerdy. I like knowing that someone cares enough about something to not care what others think."
5. "I won't date anyone in the service or music industry. This was very controversial in Nashville, as that seems to account for a LOT of the male population there. They always work nights or weekends, and I'm a typical Monday–Friday 9–5 worker. Everyone assumes I'm just stuck-up, but it's really hard to start dating someone when your schedules never align."
6. "Intelligence in all forms. I don't need you to be particularly smart, but you have to be able to form a political opinion, know about current and past world events, and be able to have deep, meaningful conversations. I hate having conversations with people that need everything broken down for them because they don't know anything — it's exhausting."
7. "I broke up with a girl whose only hobby was reading. Literally all we ever talked about was books. I'm an avid reader myself, but I'd like to have more than just that to talk about and do."
8. "If they're an obsessive dog person. We all love our pets, but in recent years there's been a trend toward dog owners being completely obsessed with their pets to what I consider an unhealthy degree."
9. "Using really bad grammar when texting. It doesn't have to be perfect, but if it's so bad that it's jarring, then I can't deal with it."
10. "Vaping. Due to past experiences, I simply don't tolerate it. Plus, there are still so many undiscovered health problems. Just look at smoking — it took years to fully realize how deadly it was."
11. "How you treat people. Everyone should be treated with kindness: restaurant waiters, grocery store cashiers, random people on the street. I'm kind to everyone who comes my way, so I want a significant other who's the same."
12. "I won't date anyone who has or wants kids. If that's what makes them happy, good for them. But I want no part of it!"
14. "I won't date anyone involved in any sport on a (semi-) professional level. Sports as a hobby are fine. But every single semi/professional athlete I have ever known has turned out to be a selfish and reckless person — and some are downright narcissists. Case closed."
15. "If they never take their restaurant leftovers to go."
17. "Toxic family relationships are a deal breaker for me. If they're no contact, it had better be for a good reason. I'm from a dysfunctional family, and I've spent a lot of energy healing that damage. As an adult, I value peace in my life above all else."
—Anonymous
18. "Being overly clingy. You should be able to spend at least 30 minutes apart."
—Anonymous, 30F
19. "This might get some flak, but hey, it's supposed to be controversial, right? I think reclining on a flight is the ultimate litmus test of social etiquette. If the person in front of me reclines, I'm basically forced to recline as well (unless I want no legroom). And sometimes I'd just rather sit upright. So yeah, if you're a recliner, I unfortunately don't see it working out between us."
—Harrison Berger (me!)
Well, that concludes are list! If you have strong opinions on any of these deal breakers, check out this poll — you can vote on whether each red flag is a true relationship deal breaker!
Let us know what your most controversial dating deal breakers are in the comments or do it totally anonymously in the Google form below. Your response could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
English (US) 