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9. "Trying to think of one, but it’s more like a correlation of all factors and recognizing the connections and patterns. Maybe it’s a microexpression that doesn’t add up with what they’re saying, maybe it’s a verbal inconsistency or like a prepositional choice they make, listening to how they rationalize or narrate, energy, mood, and emotion levels—what factors get them excited, what deflates them, etc., how they hold their bodies and carry themselves, etc."
"There's a smoothness and an awkwardness in everyone that you can see if you pay attention and almost look through them; you can see gaps where masks falter. (I’m clearly very suspicious and overly socially vigilant, plus I watch too much Columbo and criminal psychology videos and mentalism/mind-reading magic tricks). Personally, I love and am so endeared to foibles and fumbles and awkwardness; the smaller the gap in masking, the better. I don’t trust anyone who is too smooth or does too good of a job of hiding their humanness and mistakes. I kind of love vulnerability and embarrassment; it’s pro-social and honest, and people connect better with it, and people love it."
12. "I really notice people’s lack of situational awareness. Like, those who stop in a doorway to look at their phone, those in a group taking up an entire path or hallway even though other people are trying to walk by, people who park their shopping cart in the middle of an aisle blocking everyone else, that sort of thing. I shouldn’t HAVE to say “Excuse me” in order for you to realize other people exist. I pretty consistently come up on groups of people on the path here, and they SEE ME; they look right at me, but they just stand there until I’m like, “Uhhh, hey, I just need to squeeze by you...” Again, I shouldn’t have to say anything, nor should I have to come to a full stop and wait for you all to move—you made eye contact with me when I was 10+ yards out. It’s just SCREAMS' main character syndrome to me. Or a lack of survival instinct?"
"These are the people who, if we weren’t in a modern, cushy society and instead were back in our hunter/gatherer days, would be picked off by predators. How are you not getting mugged/pick-pocketed when visiting a big city? How have you not been hit by a car yet? The survival instinct aspect aside, I tend to look at it more as selfishness and again, main character syndrome. Can’t be bothered to notice other people exist.
Really grinds my gears, as the saying goes. Use your eyes and your ears; get out of your own head and frackin’ look around you. Be courteous for God’s sake. How many times here in my community do I see people walking, on bicycles, or in little vehicles (we are a car-free community, but we have ATVs and golf carts and such) having to come to a complete stop to wait for people to move when they obviously SAW YOU long before that? It’s like establishing dominance and control or something? So I guess it’s not always a case of being oblivious, just not noticing other people; sometimes they notice and just choose to not GTFO of the way."
19. "Beware of people that boost your ego if they are in a position to gain from you. Sometimes people who are giving praise to those around them are only doing it because they want to start a praise feedback loop that comes back their way. They know that by boosting your ego, it will favor them and build social rapport. The more people they butter up, the higher they feel their social standing will be. They use this as banked social currency that they can later withdraw from. Perhaps one day when someone crosses them in some way, they will call on those around them to ostracize that person, even if that other person was morally superior and calling out the social banker's bad behavior. Alternatively, they might be too lazy to accomplish tasks and will call on people to help them, not because they are incapable, but because they are lazy."
"They spend lots of time crafting the perfect social image, but they are completely vacuous people. If you call on them for anything that takes real effort, they will have an excuse why they can't help you every time. Their morals will likely be very flexible, but they will portray themselves to be paragons of morality. The obsession comes from deep insecurity, and these people can't be trusted."
English (US) 